Find your Tahiti

“Consider all this; and then turn to this green, gentle, and most docile earth; consider them both, the sea and the land; and do you not find a strange analogy to something in yourself? For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life.” Herman Melville: Moby Dick

 Recently, I gave away 6000 copies of my enovel: One Insular Tahiti.

For a few weeks, I watched as the novel stayed in the top 20 of Canadian Literary Fiction. There was a point for a few gaudy hours I was in front of Leonard Cohen. (Imagine how I felt at that point. Giddy would describe it best)

I was even lucky to get a review from the glut of copies that went out free.

Now I sit each day watching the numbers fall again, and while I might be tempted to feel despondent that I might not ever  “make it as an author”, I’m reminded of the line that has driven me over the last 2 years to remember the temporary state of this life and all that is in it. I’m reminded that this little wave in my serene ocean is but a small one compared to the larger tsunamis that sometimes strike. I know from the past that these little swells are nowhere near enough to swamp my boat, and I’m able to better pilot the vessel.

There are worse things, as we all know, than to be a modest seller on Amazon. I’m pretty good by now at keeping things in perspective. I think of the Melville quote and recall the year I’ve led, the year before that, the year before that one, and the one before. I’ve had a pretty decently happy and blessed life. And yet, like many, I’ve had some major upheavals. A close family member’s addiction, friends and family suicides, my mother’s heart attacks and consequent surgery: all things that affected me very deeply.

These are all those “horrors of the half-known life” to me, and I am forced to remember that there is a place of peace within myself that I can return to when I’m feeling out of sorts. That small space has helped me through the recent job less and re-assignment, it’s helped me through the diagnosis of my husband’s illness and all that means to our family and to him, it has helped me through some pretty strange times all through my life when I thought I just might not be able to cope.

Tahiti Beach

In One Insular Tahiti, Luke MacIsaac (yes, I used my maiden name: my dad was always complaining that my family name would never show anywhere if I ever published, so that was for you Dad.) needs to find his Tahiti. Does it matter that he’s already dead? He has forgotten that space within that connects us all to a divine sense of completion and peace, and he needs to rediscover it. For Luke, Tahiti is the womb and all the possibilities of remaking his life and starting over, of being given a chance to fix all the mistakes of his past life.

So what does that ‘Tahiti’ look like to you?

-30-

If you’ve not picked up a copy of One Insular Tahiti while it was free, it is still available to borrow from the Amazon Lending Library.

 If you did pick it up while it was free and you enjoyed it, I encourage you to leave a review. I am grateful to you all for giving this indie author a chance.

If you liked this post, please do share.

Thea is the author of several novels that she considers left of mainstream. You can find her on BN, Kobo, Sony, Apple

Anomaly by Thea Atkinson

9 thoughts on “Find your Tahiti”

  1. Another great post Thea. You have a wonderful outlook despite all the trials that you’ve had to endure. You are an inspiration. :-)

    1. well, I’d not say I’ve had too many trials. Some have had to endure much much worse, but I do find that working on staying positive helps just about any situation seem less hopeless. Glad you stopped by.

  2. I love your life view…those setbacks can eat us up if we let them. I’m glad you keep steering your own boat to safe harbor. :)

  3. Been intending to write a review of it, but keep slipping my mind.
    I read Moby Dick in an afternoon while in my final year at university. I did a course called The Art of The Novel (I may have mentioned this) where I basically read my way round the world. I probably read four or five thick novels most weeks.
    Keep on keeping on Thea. One step forward, two steps back is how it feels at times, as if we’re going backwards, but we’re not. The road is being written by US, now. We are the pioneers.
    Concerning my Tahiti…..

    A nun takes the veil ( a poem by GMHopkins)

    I HAVE desired to go

    Where springs not fail,

    To fields where flies no sharp and sided hail

    And a few lilies blow.

    And I have asked to be

    Where no storms come,

    Where the green swell is in the havens dumb,

    And out of the swing of the sea.

    I’m not sure I am going to get it but this haven (see a sea theme too!) is what my soul craves right now.

    1. too late, I realize I glossed over the heading that gave credit to the real poet, and ran right through the poem thinking it was yours, Viv. One problem with reading comments through my WP dashboard..the screen is so durn small that it gives me. grin. At any rate, I love this, especially “where the green swell is in the heavens dumb.” wow

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